


New Diary

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 11:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17723954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "I’ve seen a couple good fics about how Jack copes with his death, but what about those he left behind?I’d really like a fic about Jack’s sister dealing with the guilt of him dying to save her, her inability to go near the pond, et cetera.Bonus points for historical accuracy, and double bonus for headcanons about Jack’s family."Jack’s sister begins keeping a diary when she’s about 12-13. There’s a lot of pretending going on in her family, and her younger brother and sister don’t know why. If you want to question her ability to read and write in this time period kindly take it up with Anne Bradstreet.





	New Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 2/3/2014.

Jan. 27, 1718  
  
It is the anniversary of your death, today, Jack. I suppose that isn’t a good way to start a diary. I suppose I shouldn’t be writing to you, either, since I must hope you are in Heaven and that the affairs of us on earth don’t interest you any more. But I don’t think I can write a good diary. I can only act like I’m doing that.   
  
That will be enough, I think. Mother and Father won’t ask to read it, and Elizabeth and Matthew are too young to care. Our parents will just be glad to see that I am doing something that ordinary girls do. It will please them better than to see me doing nothing on these winter days, though it’s always so difficult for me to do anything when the year draws near to your death.  
  
I haven’t become lazy, though, and I know that when Mother says that of me she doesn’t really mean it, and she’s not really angry. She just knows that’s what a normal mother would say to her daughter who doesn’t do anything. But I do my chores when I’m told but—that’s all. So I’m not lazy, though maybe that’s what the way I act like would be, if I was acting this way and you were still alive. But you’re not.  
  
And that’s what I want to write about, even though you can’t read this. I want to write to you, even though you’re not here and even if that isn’t what goes in a normal diary. A diary is meant to record my thoughts of the day, isn’t it? I’m thinking about you. What else would I write? About how it snowed heavily today? About how it’s been so cold that our cow walked out onto the pond this morning and when Matthew followed her out there Father pulled him back to the shore so sharply that his shoulder was dislocated?  
  
The ice did not even crack under the cow, and I wonder if Matthew will mention this to any of his friends once the roads are clearer. For it was truly a strange and violent over-reaction, was it not? Father could see the animal was having no trouble. I suppose I could write about that. I am not the only one pretending that it has been a long time since you died. I think I am the least skilled at doing so, however. But now, look! My mind is clearly occupied by something else. See how diligently I write in my diary. See how I record the now, and plan for the future.  
  
Maybe the more I write the more I’ll start to actually do that. That would be good, I think. Then maybe when I am silent it will be because I have nothing to say and not because I am stopping myself from talking about you. I hope I can do that. Maybe I’ll be less afraid of forgetting you if I write to you. Maybe I’ll be able to think of other things, really, and not just pretend to think of them. Yes. That will be good. Then there will be just a little less pretending in this house, and the little ones will have at least one honest person before them.  
  
I hope you’d approve, even with all your tales…

**Author's Note:**

> Comments from Tumblr: 
> 
> marypsue said: Here, just take my heart, I didn’t need it anyway.


End file.
